I knew it was going to be hard to get accustomed to my old daily routine but I didn't know it was going to be this difficult. The first week at work was a blur as my head reeled like a 24-hour movie marathon projecting aching memories of the friends and beautiful scenery in Italy which haunted me day and night. My drifting mind kept replaying the scenes torn from my travel journal, the familiar Italian conversations and laughs, the crumbly sweet taste of my favourite sfogliatella, how the light filtered through the clouds shifting across the amazing Sicilian sky and even the cloying sulphuric smell of the bubbling volcanic mud bath at my feet.
Home was the same but I felt different. My bedroom had gotten smaller, or maybe my universe just got bigger. Something was missing and I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe I had grown used to the thrilling life on the road or addicted to the freshness of each new unpredictable day. Maybe I just needed to open my eyes and seek adventure beyond the daily grind here. Maybe I should get a makeover or implants. I was so desperate for a challenge that the first thing I did was to quit smoking and flicked the last Italian cigaretto stub from my sister's bedroom window, watching it floating in the breeze 13 floors down eventually becoming a tiny speck on the green grass patch.
Just give yourself some more time to settle in, Carl said. But I told her I don't want to settle in. I don't want to 'settle', full-stop. I could feel change creeping up on me, devouring me from inside slowly like a maggot eating away the rot and giving way to a fresh lease of life. It's funny how we all go on living each day but at the same time without realising we also die a little everyday. In the same breath, we also leave a bit of ourselves behind at each passing stage and gain a new perspective of ourselves and our universe... I guess it's life in motion. It's amazing too that I went to look for myself in a strange land and I found my voice in a foreign tongue that I never thought I'd speak.
I knew it was going to be hard to get accustomed to my old daily routine but I didn't know it was going to be this difficult. The first week at work was a blur as my head reeled like a 24-hour movie marathon projecting aching memories of the friends and beautiful scenery in Italy which haunted me day and night. My drifting mind kept replaying the scenes torn from my travel journal, the familiar Italian conversations and laughs, the crumbly sweet taste of my favourite sfogliatella, how the light filtered through the clouds shifting across the amazing Sicilian sky and even the cloying sulphuric smell of the bubbling volcanic mud bath at my feet.
Home was the same but I felt different. My bedroom had gotten smaller, or maybe my universe just got bigger. Something was missing and I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe I had grown used to the thrilling life on the road or addicted to the freshness of each new unpredictable day. Maybe I just needed to open my eyes and seek adventure beyond the daily grind here. Maybe I should get a makeover or implants. I was so desperate for a challenge that the first thing I did was to quit smoking and flicked the last Italian cigaretto stub from my sister's bedroom window, watching it floating in the breeze 13 floors down eventually becoming a tiny speck on the green grass patch. 
Just give yourself some more time to settle in, Carl said. But I told her I don't want to settle in. I don't want to 'settle', full-stop. I could feel change creeping up on me, devouring me from inside slowly like a maggot eating away the rot and giving way to a fresh lease of life. It's funny how we all go on living each day but at the same time without realising we also die a little everyday. In the same breath, we also leave a bit of ourselves behind at each passing stage and gain a new perspective of ourselves and our universe... I guess it's life in motion. It's amazing too that I went to look for myself in a strange land and I found my voice in a foreign tongue that I never thought I'd speak.
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